Thursday, 2 January 2014

Christmas' Emotions

Trying to catch up on what has been happening in my life in Bulgaria but quite honestly a lot has happened but also I have done nothing worth sharing. The best parts of my life this year has been the Secret Garden events.

Christmas last year was a good time, but when I think about it what was bubbling underneath is such sadness it still hurts.

A lovely friend Alison and her boys came to us for Christmas day and boxing day along with a couple who I sold a house to who came just for the Christmas day. I don't like to see anyone spend Christmas alone, it is such an emotive time of year.
I love entertaining, cooking and baking so it is always a pleasure and I get to try new things with unknowing Guinea pigs :-)  Alison and the boys were a pleasure and Ali is so funny when she has had a drink so I had a really good couple of days.

Nigel had recently renovated our cellar into a snug so I got to make it into a grotto, love that room and now I am sad. It tool 4 yrs to get round to doing it and I had all but 3 months in it, so sad.

Alison became my best friend in the months that followed,I don't know how I would have survived without her and the boys who are just awesome and helped me a lot (for muffins).

We also did New Year Together Ali wanted to cook for us as a thank you and bought a gorgeous joint of pork which she cooked beautifully, the breakfast was the boys idea, I have to say it sounded really awful but was pretty nice ;-)
  Cold Yorkshire pudding with jam and cream

This years Christmas was very different. I did put up the tree but scant decorations, enough to make it festive. 

We had no snow this year, in fact the weather is chilly but that cold for December. We have days of 14c still and in the sun well it's well into the upper 20's. Christmas day was cold and by the night time it was also foggy but it did not interfere with the day.

Very sad to wake for the very first time in my life alone, no presents under the tree and no kisses hugs etc, Christmas eve I just switched my mind off but in the morning this was impossible. Still it enabled me to get the tears out of the way before my friends arrived, and my husband too. We has a really nice day, very relaxed but also very odd. Thankful for our friends :-)

It did make me think of all the people who are in this situation and worse those on the streets with no warm home, no tree let alone presents, then the thousands who are in hospital or dying. I am thankful for what I did have this year even though it was very sad, it could be a lot worse.

The sweetest thing was Lulu' sister came for the day. Both girls had a wonderful time play fighting & being in the warm with lots of love & a lovely big Lamb dinner :-)

I think the worst time was my birthday, I spent the day completely alone. It was the worst time I think I have every had. I spent the whole day crying but had two friends phone me, which even though I was crying & felt so bad, they did manage to make me laugh, I was so grateful to them :-) The positive is, as the songs says, things can only get better. If I think my next birthday/Christmas will be as bad I will go to England for a couple of months and spend it with family.

So now we roll on towards New Year. For various reasons I am on my own again, but it gets all these days out of the way and I have some really positive news. I am buying a house in my old village (which I miss terribly) I will have something to focus on and also my Bulgarian and Russian friends all around me. I miss them! This is a lovely village I live in, but I never see anyone, it is very lonely where I am situated. I so long for my friends, to sit and sup a little Rakia eat a little salata and soupa while having Bulgarian/English lessons I can't wait. Also a new family moved into the village last Spring so I am excited to be making new friends and moving closer to others. 

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