Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Well What A winter

Well Here I am in March, winter was both bloody awful and also bloody gorgeous, more heat waves than anything, very weird.

Christmas came and went along with a so called friend,when will I ever learn? I spent Christmas day alone due to a complete cock up but I had a really lovely day. I felt very content and after snacking and having a cheese sandwich for dinner LOL I spent the whole day crocheting. It was lovely. Yes I would have preferred to be with family but as that is not possible, and considering the pain of the previous Christmas it was a truly peaceful day for me. Yet again Boxing day served as Christmas day. I did all the cooking and it was enjoyed. I even popped a real bottle of Champers but even though it was the real mackoy and costs a fortune I really don't like the stuff so I topped it with Orange juice and stuck to the one. Fabulous dinner though, there is just something about Christmas dinner, even without Turkey. I had bought a joint of beef and a joint of pork a couple of months before hand and both were delicious. I think I can say now though I am quite OK to spend Christmas alone and feel content, as long as I get to talk to my family!

So I won't go into the ins and outs of it all but January found me without electric for 7 days, no water at all for two weeks and then eventually no water in the house for 10 weeks, but with a leaking outside garden tap. I am however ecstatic to report I have finally had a new pump fitted just two days ago and my life is so very different now.
That was hard, I am very thankful that the weather, other than 3 weeks of snow & freezing temps, was again kind to us. It has been quite a few years now since we have had what was then normal. Deep over 3 meters of snow, -27c and a few -38c along with being snowed in for weeks on end. So 3 weeks was a walk in the park. Melting snow for water when all the bottled water ran out, having a personal Niagara falls in the pump room, after the first de-freeze and a completely annihilated pump rendering my house water free still, but with a working garden tap, hurrah. The village water man, Plamen, charged me 40 lev to fit a piece of pipe that he had at home, stopping my own Niagara falls and emptying my purse to boot, thankful though.
So then I had the electric cut off and was without water, electric and ill with a mild flu all at the same time. I couldn't get a lift in to pay the bill and I was too ill to wait in the snow and cold to get a bus on one of the two days we have one LOL. Yep it was a BAD time but I coped valiantly LOL right up to the Friday, which was a bus day. I wrapped up warm and stood waiting for the bus, getting there early as they are likely to just go if they get there early. One hour later I finally realised that it wasn't going to come and just burst into tears I just couldn't cope from that moment onwards. The thought of having to wait another 5 days till I could get in to pay my bills.

Wow you really don't know what you have till it's gone, but I am still living in my bit of paradise.

Could be much much better but it's what I have and I have to accept my life is never going to be anything to write home about for most people.
Sometimes I do think about going back to England, problem is I have no home there, no income or help from anyone till I can sort those issues and the government will not help either as I have been out of the country for a period of time. My hands are so bad now that what job could I do? Then I think on the positives, there are always positives. My Granddaughters, ahhh all 5 grand babies, the loves of my heart and what life is all about. I would at least have 4 on my doorstep, I would be able to look after them and help my children with them. I would be able to see the two babies grow up, My mum 92 and now in the twilight of her years, I love her so much and want to be able to care for her. My children, all grown up with lives of their own but they still need a mum and my sister (in law) my lovely sister, who has been there since I was just 12 and the only sister I have ever had.
Yes family is what they call homesickness. It's not the country you are leaving, the job, your friends, it's the people you are attached to by your soul, and it physically hurts, lots. The friends you make here will never be as the ones you leave behind, NEVER and you will only keep a couple of those because people move on and you become a distant memory.
SO think, think, think and think again before you come here because it is not always easy.
There are people in Bulgaria, and of course other countries, who live a fantastic life here but that is really down to money in the long run. It is a beautiful, friendly (on the whole) helpful, peaceful, slow, amazing place to live but it can be hard.
The rate of ex pat marriage break up's is huge. I came here in a stable loving solid marriage, deeply in love with my soul mate my best friend and found myself alone and definitely abandoned. So when people use all those words to define how happy they are etc it makes my tummy roll over. Please people, but mainly women, it can turn in a heartbeat! Be sure either you have something to go back to (I didn't as there was no way I needed to, I had my amazing husband who could do anything, my best friend) or you have plenty of money to sort everything out and live. To get a divorce costs money up front. Try pinning down your ex here, it is impossible as you need money up front, even though there are laws! Try getting things sorted here is impossible leaving people in limbo unable to move forward.

Now please don't think I am negative Nelly, I am not, I am happy here, but sometimes like in winter, I miss my children, family and yes life in UK with water, electric, gas central heating and all the comforts we have grown to take for granted.
Would I still have come had I known what would happen? Not if I could have still been happily married and have my wonderful happy happy family life, no.  Will I go back? Not if I can help it NO!

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