Friday, 30 May 2014

Busy Times, Summer is here!!!!!!!

Well summer is here and you would be forgiven for thinking we were in England! We have the most terrible weather. Storms of torrential rain, thunder bangs so loud it shakes and breaks windows, lightening which may look amazing but one 19 yr old was killed and someone I know had a strike hit their house. Scary stuff. To be honest it may seem bad here but I have friends near the coast that had hail stones the size of golf balls and large marbles.
Thankfully I managed to get the chilli and sweet pepper plants in before it hit but my Lemon tree is drowning so as soon as I can I need to get to it and drain the excess water, fingers crossed it will survive.  This is my third Lemon tree, I lost the first two during a winter, due mainly to not having a good place to home them away from wood burners, we can't leave them out due to the arctic winters.

Not much has changed for the good in my house. I did have yet another English couple in, against my better judgement, but I was swayed by the fact he could do plumbing and electrics, he couldn't!  So I still don't have a bathroom sink or taps, very sad about that as I was so excited to finally get a proper bathroom. I have the sink, taps, worktop and everything I need to get the job done, I just need someone who can do it.   She was a lazy ass and everything she was asked to do she feigned feeling ill with allergies! I have never known anyone with "Allergies" have no symptoms but hey I did manage to get a shower fitted which has made a lot of difference I must say, and I am very grateful for that. It was a job that was done in an hour but I had them for a week LOL.

I am not giving up just yet. I have an American couple and a Canadian guy coming mid June, so lets see how that goes. Think it will be garden work, clearing, weeding and hopefully getting the seating and pool area done?

I have found a decent-ish looking kitchen for only 519 lev, that's £216, bargain, but unfortunately I can't afford it just yet, still it has given me food for thought. Do I keep the tiled sink and just re tile it or do I fit a new one? A friend has an old sink I can have and someone else is sending me some pre used taps, how generous is that, so I have options. I would prefer to get this stone and tile nightmare out as it stinks underneath, and start again which will give me extra space in a quite small kitchen.
I can't wait to get some work space and cupboards in there.  The one cupboard in there is so damp now and I am having to throw lots of food away. I have just thrown a 5kilo bag of flour away due to it being mouldy. This was an unopened bag. Along with gravy granules, sugar and other dried foods. Just such a waste of food and money.

Feeling wise, well pretty bad. I can't seem to move on right now and back to crying every day. I am flooded with lovely memories and it really hurts.  I do know I will get over this but I also know it is going to take me a long time as I am still in love with my husband, I don't want to be, but I am and I cannot just not be. So I am hurting quite badly right now.  Every time I go somewhere it brings back feelings of when I was there with him and happy, even builders merchants, how mad is that.
Things are not brilliant but I am trying to look positively on life, even when mine is anything but.
I have made friends with a really great couple in my village, thankful for that and for them. Other than that I just want to give up and be a hermit-ishy type person, just while I get through this and come out the other side.  I am so fed up with having no feelings of joy in my life, it sucks!!!!!  I am just existing but at least I am existing hahaha, not dead yet!

I have lots of if only's in my head...... If only I kept taking my driving test life would be so much easier and more sociable, If only I knew why, If only I had money to go back and forth to England, If only I had a dad or brother I could rely on, If only I felt loved, If only I was slimmer, If only I never met him!!!!!!!  But I did, so I have to suffer the consequences of being with him and being dumped just like his ex wife. Warning to everyone, the way they treat their ex's one day may be you! Funny how these if only's raise their ugly heads when you are on your knees with nowhere to go, they never existed before, I guess it is part of being vulnerable?

The Secret Garden event went really badly, we had a storm and no shelter so no stalls were out and it was badly attended, so I am re thinking my strategy of touring around different places. Now I am on my own it really is not possible as it is just too much work for me. I had 3 days constant baking then had to sort through all the boxes to get the crockery I needed then clean it this took hours and buggered my back, which a week later is still really bad.

On the positive side
I am going to concentrate on getting the Mehana (bar/cafe) renovated so I can hold the Secret Garden events here, then if it rains it won't matter. I am really excited about this project, it has my juices flowing and I am actually feeling another emotion other than sadness. I hope that by this time next year it will be up and running, raising money for charities.
I may even start a blog to document it's progress.

The garden is doing well with potatoes, Tomatoes, chilli, sweet peppers, cucumbers, and lots of herbs growing nicely.  I have plenty of seedlings for herbs too and need to plant more lettuce as it is either eaten or bolted barring a couple.
Four Cherry tree's are full and ready for picking, that's if there are any left on the tree's after all these storms, so I will be busy making conserve once I can harvest them , that will be interesting in that kitchen LOL And my chicken is laying every day, bonus!
The only thing I have restored in the garden is an old wooden table
from this
To this

I have had some lovely days in the garden, before the storms, the heat has been lovely with temps 35c in the shade this week, which has meant swimming costume and sarong with the tan basing nicely not that I can sun bathe as there is a huge pile of wood & rubble in the seating/sunbathing area. Soon to be cleared I hope.

I have also been to the Dr's had blood tests and been found to have gout, well you could have blown me over I was so shocked. I thought I had Rheumatoid Arthritis for the last 5 yrs but no, gout!
So I am taking a few tablets and really looking forward to not being in arthritic pain for the first time in 5 years.  I never knew Gout was a form of arthritis, I always though it was a swollen leg! So another positive thing happening in my life :-)  They did check me for other forms of Arthritis which is all clear, my glucose is up so I have to watch that but everything else, white blood cells, blood count, cholesterol etc is A OK Bloody brilliant. I love the health care here. walk in to Dr's get blood taken & next day have loads of results & a clean bill of health or a diagnosis so fast it's amazing! Cost 2.50 lev, that's £1 the lab results were 8 lev LOL

Here are some pictures of what is in part of my garden right now Things are beginning to fruit & grow 
Tomato patch
one of the cherry tree's
Strawberry patch, the whole lot :-)
Not quite ready yet
One of a few rose bushes I love this one it is a huge bush
Lots of bunches of baby grapes, the vines are full.
A few herbs with a enormous mint patch behind it


  1. Looking good !!!! only today took up your blog since ages and sad to see the heartbreak, but now looking upward !! keep going girl xx

    1. Thank you. It sure is different, challenging, lonely & soulless but I hope to feel at peace again one day. I yearn to enjoy living again!

      Thank you for your comment David & Chris Anne I will keep going xxx


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